Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
