I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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