awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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