Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Randomize
