with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
