the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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