im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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