I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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