Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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