Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
