Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
