I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
He has the fingertips of a God
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
