i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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