she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
