hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Randomize
