If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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