i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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