Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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