she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize