I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
