Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Randomize
