i think my tv is drunk
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
