With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
