We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
