We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
