as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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