Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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