Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
