told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
