Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
