my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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