We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
