Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
