honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize