shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Randomize
