If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Randomize
