I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Randomize
