spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
