weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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