I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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