Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
