he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
he thought i was a dude.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
