More tranny stories later!
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
