And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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