i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize