it hurts more in the daytime
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
