So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
