He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Randomize
