used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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