We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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