She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Randomize
