Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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