K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
