I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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