What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
