Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
