do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
