I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
