I can tuck mytits in my pants
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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