If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Randomize
