I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
