If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Randomize
