Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
